For the fear of losing, we lose even more

Twas my fault that I didn't make myself close
In groups of any sort
(Probably except only one)

Yet I look back with regret & miss
Of all the joyful times that I've coincidentally included myself in

Still feeling down(refer to previous post below)
& a whole lot of emotional turmoil yet again
To make it less obvious, perhaps

iregretiregretiregretcastingmyselfout

ironically I've tried including myself nowadays
Yet it feels so tiring
tiring to be always there
so much I almost wanted to leave
give up on changing

I can't understand myself